Restless

I'm restless. I can feel it. I hate the way the tide seems to spike and I find no joy in the things around me. It's not that I'm unhappy. They are two totally different and distinct emotions. It is the feeling that I am not living my best life. That I am somehow filled with unease about the current state. I know that I am not fulfilled at work. I know that if I could figure out what to do with my life that would combine some type of creativity and yet allow me to maintain the wall I cherish of not dealing with people on a daily basis (I would suck at retail), then I would move closer to an ideal of living a satisfying work life. But let's face it. The job market is horrid and I am lucky to be employed with benefits. That is the reality right now. This is not a time for frivolity. This is not a time for spiritual indulgence. It is a time of stark, often harsh realities that at times can seem quite dark. 


Midterm elections are tomorrow and I can tell you, I am frightened for America. I do not know where we are going. I only know it is the wrong way. We lost something real in the last forty to fifty years. We lost the gravitas of being America. Right now, we feel like the butt of a bad joke. How do we get back there? To that more noble time. I do not hold any illusions that things were easier or better in the <<insert decade here>>'s but I feel like we have lost common humanity. We don't even care about ourselves as a unifying body - Americans...it used to mean something...now all we are known for is crass reality television and impending political and socioeconomic doom.


I know that, on the whole, we have it so much better than many other places in this world. We have rights that are precious and not to be made light of. But we have to find our center again. We have to find the way to get along and to approach each other with something resembling humanity again. Otherwise, we are all doomed.